What to expect
Most people arrive at a first session having imagined something far more formal than it is. Here is what actually happens, what it costs, and what stays private, so that none of it is a surprise.
Before you come
Fifty minutes, and free.
You arrive, I offer you a glass of water, and we sit in two chairs at a slight angle to each other. There is a clock behind you so you never have to check your phone.
I usually start by asking what made you get in touch now. You can answer in one sentence or twenty minutes. If you'd rather I asked you questions for a while, say so and I will.
Near the end we talk about whether it feels workable: whether you'd like to come again, weekly or fortnightly, and at what time. If you'd rather go away and think, that's a perfectly ordinary answer and I won't chase you.
You will not be asked to fill in forms about your childhood, and you won't be given homework unless you want some.
Privacy
Including the parts most sites leave out.
What you say in the room stays in the room. I don't tell your family, your GP or your employer that you see me, and I won't acknowledge you first if we pass in Waitrose.
Two honest limits. Like every counsellor on my register, I take my work to monthly supervision, where I discuss it without your name or anything that would identify you. And there are rare situations, mostly involving serious risk to a child or an adult at risk, or certain legal orders, where I may have to pass something on. If that ever came up I'd tell you, and where possible we'd do it together.
I keep brief notes, stored securely and separately from your contact details, and I delete them after the period my insurer requires. You can ask to see them at any time. The privacy notice sets out what I hold and for how long.
Fees
Published so nobody has to ask.
Endings
You can stop at any point, and you don't owe me a reason. What I'd ask is one more session to finish properly, because endings done well are part of the work, and because it's a chance to look at what changed.
If I think you'd be better served by someone else, a different approach or a service I can't provide, I'll say so plainly and help you find them. That happens sometimes and it isn't a failure.
Getting started
Unsure is the most common way people arrive. Write a few lines and I'll answer your questions honestly, with no expectation that you book anything.
Counselling isn't an emergency service, and I don't monitor messages in the evenings or at weekends. If waiting isn't safe, these people answer straight away.